Back in the day, when I left my parents’ house and rented my first apartment, I had a rug. I don’t know how, but this rug became infested with fleas. The infestation was slow at first, a pin prick now and then. When the bites became more abundant, I was constantly slapping at my ankle. Being unfamiliar with fleas I did not know what was going on. Finally, there were so many I could see them. I don’t remember how I got rid of them but the whole situation was one of the most annoying events of my early life.
Since that time, when I become infuriated with someone, I wish that their rugs would become infested with fleas. The image of them, I see in my head, slapping at their ankles is not only satisfying, it is often quite funny.
I probably got the idea from The Tonight Show. When Jonny Carson’s Carnac would say “May a thousand sand fleas infest your armpits” people laughed, it was funny.
Apparently, that was when life was simpler and people understood a silly joke.
Modern technology has stripped away the silly jokes of the past and replaced them with the crude. What used to be confined to the locker room is now spread all over the net, corrupting interpretations of non-offensive intent.
The microchip has increased the speed with which we communicate. Unfortunately it has turned the art of conversing into a maze of misunderstandings. Con